EY's Rants and Raves

Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.

And my fav attributed to her, but not verified....

I wish I could drink like a lady,
I'll have one or two at the most.
Three and I'm under the table,
Four and I'm under the host.